New Hire Communication Peer Review
Read the following sample student Week 3 New Hire Communication assignment. In the message, an HR staff member of ABC Company communicates the company’s culture, processes, procedures, and general information to new hires in emails.
Sample Student Work: HR Email Communication for ABC Company New Hires
During Day 1 of the training, we will provide you an introduction and general company overview. On Day 2, uniforms will be issues and E-learning will begin. You will continue E-learning on Day 3 and complete it on Day 4. We will also assign you an area for you to start working on Day 4. Day 5 has no work for you to do.
All employees must follow procedures. Employees must use the employee entrance and parking in the back of the building. If you arrive late to work, you must check in with your supervisor upon arrival. If employees need extra training, please inform the supervisor in the case they need extra training. Meal breaks are 30 minutes if working 8 or more hours. If working less than 8 hours, employees will get a 15 min break. Every first Monday of the month mandatory staff meetings take place in the conference department. You must attend the meeting. In the event you cannot attend, you must have prior approval from your supervisor.
Our company is dedicated to providing the best retail experience to customers by offering competitive prices and equal employment opportunities. Our company offers extensive training and development programs and opportunities for growth within. We offer employee stock options and competitive incentives year round. This position is also eligible for medical, dental, and vision insurance as well as a percent matching 401k program.
Our company offers a diverse cultural environment. We encourage our employees to voice their opinions and give feedback where they see fit. All employees will be issued a standard uniform. The uniform policy is on page 7 of the employee handbook. If you have not received a handbook, please inform your trainer.
HR Department of ABC Company
Evaluate the message above using the evaluation guide provided. Indicate whether each item is met, partially met, or not met. Include any suggestions for the student to improve the message.
|Partially Met||Not Met
|Suggestions for Improvement:|
|The message provides useful information.||Met||Could explain the type of training in more detail and if anything should be brought such as pens and pencils.|
|The message is concise.||Met||Explains everything concisely.|
|The message is clear.||Met||Could explain the type of training better.|
|The tone of the message is appropriate for the target audience.||Met||Positive|
|The message effectively reaches the intended goal.||Met||Providing it was delivered in the handbook.|
|The message effectively persuades audience to take actions.||Met||The message is informative. If it was intending to persuade people then it would need to be written differently.|
|Paragraph and sentence transitions are present, logical, and maintain the flow throughout the paper.||Met||The ideas in the message seemed to jump from one to the next. A better use of transitions would make the message flow better.|
|The format of the message is easy to read.||Met||There is some confusion over what form of training is going to take place but the message is easy to read other than that issue.|
I would rewrite the message explaining the type of training that will take place and use more transitions to effectively shift from one idea to another.